"But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure." Psalm 71:14-15

Monday, October 25, 2010

Solid Ground

Most of you probably take for granted that you are on solid ground. You aren't physically sinking in quicksand (or at least I hope not). You may feel like you are financially or emotionally sinking, but at least physically you aren't. We sang a great version of Amazing Grace with the chorus (and to the tune) of Peaceful Easy Feeling by the Eagles at church yesterday.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found,
Was blind, but now I see.

I've got a peaceful, easy feeling,
And I know you won't let me down.
'Cause I'm already standing
on solid ground.

After church, Matt and I were talking and I about lost it. I don't feel like we are on solid ground at all. Our relationship is wonderful, the pregnancy is going great, our jobs are stressful, but not a big deal. Really what is getting me is our house, the new one we moved into last year, not the old one we can't sell. We have renters now, so that one is out of our minds for now.

A few months ago, we started noticing that our doors weren't shutting properly. And as I came up the street about a month ago, I looked at our house and about had a heart attack. From the road in my car I could see a huge crack in our foundation. When I say huge, it's about 2" wide. You can stand in our basement and see daylight between the floor of the sunroom and the foundation wall. That one corner of our house is literally sliding out from under us, and the only thing holding the sunroom on the house right now are the floor boards. Luckily, as I write this, my dear husband and our pastor/friend are in the basement putting a support beam and jacks in place.

We have gotten OBSCENE estimates on fixing our home. We are slashing and burning our budget like never before, including drastic measures we thought we'd never take. We are also looking at some creative budgeting and finance options so that we can get our house repaired and build a fence* before Sweet Pea arrives.

*Some of you may wonder with a foundation that is sliding out from under us, why a fence is still a priority as well. This is why:

His name is Einstein and his howl is painful to the human ear and at a volume that is unimaginable. But look at that face. That face may not live through a colicky infant, just put to sleep, me with no sleep and a mail man driving by... let your imagination finish the rest.

So unfortunately, although it was a lovely song, I am far from feeling as if I'm on solid ground. Actually, I feel like our house is sliding out from under us, because it IS. It is hard to feel at rest about anything or even enjoy this blessing of a pregnancy, when your house is falling down around you. It may sound over-dramatic, but have you ever had to worry about your house falling down? OK then, don't judge me. Just pray for us if you are so inclined.

1 comment:

Ballentine said...

Aww Jill! I'm praying, I can't even begin to imagine the stress you're feeling. Maybe, just keep reminding yourself that it's a house, not your home that is falling apart... ahhh, probably not that helpful, but it's all I can think of :)