Struggling...

So, obviously I've "fallen off the wagon" with Lent, so to speak. It started out so well, and I was so enthusiastic, but here lately I'm struggling. My Lent was about something that I should be doing all the time, not just for 46 days. I should be focusing on the blessings that I have and the things that are going my way, instead of selfishly obsessing over the things I don't have. I know all of this in my head, but my heart is stubborn like me. And so I struggle.

My struggle is ambiguous. It's hard to describe or pin down into one thing. But it's real just the same. I have a job that I LOVE. I have family and friends that I LOVE. I have the most AMAZING husband that I LOVE and adore with all that I have in me. I have a gorgeous house that I LOVE, with a front porch and a rocking chair that I get to enjoy while I'm working (in a job that I LOVE). I mean look at what we're doing this afternoon:

I am blessed beyond measure, but still I struggle. I'm having a hard time falling asleep, even when I'm exhausted. I'm trying to stay positive about the house we're selling, but look at how long it's been since we started trying to sell it! That's right folks, over 7 MONTHS. UGH. We had it listed with a realtor for 6 months to no avail, and now we are doing it on our own. We've worked really hard in the last few weeks improving the one thing that was consistently lower on the feedback from our showings, curb appeal. We are hosting an open house on Sunday, April 11th 2-4pm. Hopefully something good will come of it.

This is before:

If you can't tell, the foundation and trim are a "country blue" color that I've ALWAYS hated!

This is after:

Taupe foundation and black trim, with landscaping and shutters (those teeny bushes are azaleas). Tomorrow we add a window box under the picture window & hanging plants!

If you know ANYONE in the Chattanooga area looking for a great starter home, that's close to downtown, in an awesome neighborhood in Red Bank (that's county not city taxes people), please send them our way!!! I loved living in this house, and am very attached because I bought it as a single girl. It's a great house that I spent lots of time and money updating and, if I do say so myself, it's a fabulous buy! Here's the link to our listing!!!

In the mean time, I'm going to continue to remind myself how blessed we are that we could even MAKE this move and afford 2 houses so that we could get the house of our dreams while we wait on the perfect buyer (or ANY buyer) for our first home. I'm also going to try and pull myself up out of this funk, with the good Lord's help. Prayers are appreciated, buyers welcome!

Lent is a process...

SO, I missed Sunday AGAIN. But I'm still grateful! Obviously, these Sunday Gratitude postings are not in order of priority, but they are inspired. This week I am particularly grateful for GRACE! That ultimately means that I'm grateful for my salvation, yes. But even more than that, I'm grateful to be a child of God. I'm glad that HE is my Father, my Judge, and my Redeemer. I'm grateful that God sets the standards for me, and gives me GRACE when I fail, just like a Father does with His child.

Sometimes I feel guilty, because I take for granted the amazing gift I've been given. My heart has belonged to the Father since I was so young, it's part of who I am. I can't look back on a time "before" I became a Christian. I was raised in the church, by a wonderful loving mother. I was Christened at 3 months old. I asked my mom if I could be baptized again when I was 8, and my pastor agreed to do so (even though I don't think it's technically Methodist doctrine to re-baptize someone). And the Holy Spirit entered my life in rather dramatic fashion when I was 14. In the [paraphrased] words of Brother Jim (according to my mother), 'I've never seen the Holy Spirit get hold of a child the way He did Jill.' I don't say this to seem Holier than Thou or brag, but to illustrate that God has always been in my life in a very real way. And for that I'm truly grateful.

Now, I admit to you that at times in my life I walked close to His side, and others I've been further away. But His presence never left me, and I'm constantly convicted and drawn back closer when I stray. Conviction is not at all bad. It's the loving correction of the Father, and I cherish it. Like any parent-child relationship, discipline shows the child you care about them enough to set limits for them. I'm grateful for God's conviction, knowing that with it comes His GRACE.

God loves us enough to walk with us, comfort us, guide us, convict and correct us. He loves us enough to cherish us, and count each hair on our heads (even the gray ones!). God loves us enough to create us, and draw us into His presence through the sacrifice of His only Son. Most of all, more than anything, I'm grateful to be a child of God.

Sunday Gratitude

So this Sunday's Gratitude was a little more challenging to find; it's been a rough week. We have been faced with worry, tough decisions, and stark reality. Matt's grandmother (Grandy) went into the hospital this week with difficulty breathing, but she is home now and doing much better. Our contract with our Realtor expired this week, and we were faced with decisions about how to proceed in selling the old house. In general our hearts and minds were very heavy.

Instead of focusing on those things that were causing worry, for Lent I am trying to focus on the blessings we have. This week's Sunday Gratitude is FAMILY!!! When crisis strikes, you see who is really around you, who you can count on. This week I saw what a wonderful family we have, and what an amazing group of people I picked to marry into!

We are so blessed to have Matt's grandparents still here with us (mine are waiting for me in heaven ;) ). His mom and step-dad, aunts and uncles, are all such amazing, loving people who have been so accepting of me. They really do come through in a pinch, let me tell ya. My mom ain't too shabby herself. She called me every day to check on Grandy and to let us know she was thinking of us.

In the midst of worry and heavy hearts, God reminds me that we are truly blessed to have such a large, wonderful FAMILY who will walk with us through good times and bad. We are especially blessed with the wisdom and love that only grandparents can give, and I count myself lucky to have that experience again. I thought as time went on and I got older, that it would get easier not having my own Meme and Papaw around, but notsomuch.

So, take time this Sunday thank God for your FAMILY. And if you are blessed enough to still have them here with you, GO HUG YOUR GRANDPARENTS!!!

Join the blog hop (even if it isn't Sunday) and tell us what you are grateful for!

Sunday Gratitude

OBVIOUSLY I am grateful throughout the week, not just on Sunday. But I wanted to "take on" something, as well as "give up" something this Lent. SO, as part of my Lenten season Fast from discontent, and feast on gratitude, I have chosen to write a Sunday Gratitude post each week focusing on one thing (of many) that I am grateful for.

For my first post, I chose to write not about the thing that I'm necessarily most grateful for, but the thing that stands out for the week. This Sunday Gratitude is SUNSHINE!!!!! Yesterday was the first day of real, semi-warm, enjoyable SUNSHINE in about 4 months. We truly had a gorgeous weekend here in Chattaboogie, and I was extremely grateful.

I will admit, this winter was seriously starting to wear me down physically and emotionally. The clouds, rain, snow and dreariness were playing a large role in exacerbating my discontent of late. Now obviously I can't blame it all on the weather, but it certainly didn't help. I know that I must take responsibility for the things I was doing, and not doing, to worsen my moods. But I sure was glad to get a little help from my friend SUNSHINE this weekend!!

[she sings, "I get by with a little help from my friends"]

AHEM. Sorry.

So I went to worship this morning, with a grateful heart and a smile on my face, in no small part due to the beautiful SUNSHINE that God gave us this weekend. His whole creation is beautiful; everything He made is perfect.

[she sings, "You make everything glorious, and I am yours! What does that make me?"]

AHEM.

But the SUNSHINE that shown all around and warmed our faces this weekend reminded me that I AM GRATEFUL!! I am grateful to be a child of God, blessed in so many ways. And I will continue to feast on gratitude.

If you want to participate in Sunday Gratitude, write your own and link up here!!!

My LATE LENT blog post

So this year I had a tough decision to make. I fumbled around for several weeks about not knowing what to give up for Lent this year. All the while, there was one thing that represents what draws me away from the gratefulness I should have for our God and the blessings He gives. It doesn't matter what it is, and for my own sake, I'll keep it to myself. The point of Lent is to re-focus our hearts and minds on what truly matters, do what we can to draw closer to our God, and to prepare to receive God's grace through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. That being said, it's not too late for you to find YOUR ONE THING.

Our Prayer for Living the Lenten Discipline

Pastor: Now we are called to remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross. We are called to prepare ourselves for both Jesus' death and His resurrection, knowing as we do so that as we die with Him- so also we will rise with Him. We are called to a holy fast- and a holy feast in each of the days of this season.

Congregation:

So let us:

Fast from complaining, and feast on appreciation.

Fast from negatives, and feast on affirmatives.

Fast from unrelenting pressure, and feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from hostility, and feast on tenderness.

Fast from bitterness, and feast on forgiveness.

Fast from words that pollute, and feast on the phrases that purify.

Fast from self-concern, and feast on compassion for others.

Fast from idle gossip, and feast on purposeful silence.

Fast from judging others, and feast on the Christ within them.

Fast from discouragement, and feast on hope.

Fast from discontent, and feast on gratitude.

Fast from facts that depress, and feast on truths that uplift.

Fast from lethargy, and feast on enthusiasm.

Fast from thoughts that weaken, and feast on promises that inspire.

Fast from problems that overwhelm, and feast on prayer that undergirds.

Strengthen us, O God, to complete the fast with humility, have mercy upon us and save us.

Amen.